Hard love means taking a stand and staying firm. Setting limits and expectations is the most loving thing we can do for our children, even if it means we’re bothering them. This does not mean that we solve family problems by throwing our children on the street. Hard love means support and the end of isolation. Avoid the blame game and try the here and now, not the past. It is action oriented. It is based on educational support and ends with shame and isolation. It has been developed to give us the tools to succeed in a media world that has produced sophisticated and titled teens. This will show us how to change our actions to achieve positive results. It offers a road map of our ideal home.
A teenager excuses all his behavior by blaming someone or something else. When we are in crisis, we feel worried, crazy, anxious, angry, unsure of ourselves, overwhelmed and unsuccessful. We could have tried everything to change the situation. He cleaned up the mess, prayed silently, isolated himself, blamed others, abused his teenage son, allowed them. But this is not the solution and it will not change anything. We must come out of denial. Do not let the painful feelings leave us defenseless, all we need is to move to the effective mode of action.
We must evaluate our problem and put an end to behaviors that do not work, adopt new behaviors and develop a support network. It’s hard to be a father and to admit that you do not know what to do, it’s hard to give up shame, guilt and guilt, but hard love is effective. By changing our behavior, we will regain control and achieve its goals. The application is the key to success and authority. Without application, a family obeys rules that leave room for maneuver to children. We must stop saying yes and learn to create safe and enforceable limits by saying no to true love. Loving and hard parents learn to make small weekly changes using the stand, results, plans and support program. Take a stand and establish the final result works. A stand is a long-term goal that you want to achieve, a goal that can take a long time. At the end of the day, these are the small actions that you will undertake for a week to reach your stands.
Value of booths More often, parents who seek professional help to treat their addict child presume that professionals will solve the problem. After seeking treatment, the patient must return to his family. It is possible that the interaction of the patient at home and the availability of drugs in the area completely spoil the professional’s efforts. To maintain recovery, the family must follow certain positions.
These stands can be classified into three classes.
Red stands: they are of great importance to parents and are difficult to meet for the patient. They can create seizures if they are not implemented with therapeutic planning. There are 4 red stands:
- Does not show rude behavior
- Do not smoke / get high
- There are no friends and slippery places.
- Do not give up follow-ups.
Yellow stands: they are relatively less important than red stands. It is difficult for the patient to comply with these positions, but the resulting crisis is not as intense. For example, ask them to eat on time, giving them small household chores, such as picking up and dropping off purchases at the supermarket, and so on.
Green stands: they are of less intensity and are the easiest to follow. For example, ask patients to invite their friends to dinner, watch a particular program, give them a glass of water, and so on.
Set up of the stand
To follow the positions of the family is above all a therapeutic posture. If the family thinks that the patient is going to react in the red bleachers and even in the yellow bleachers, then he has to start from the green bleachers, which are very easy to fill. Establishing the mandate of the family may be possible by following the stands. Following the steps sequentially is very important and improves the patient’s level of compliance with the family.
The family must leave the green posts, which are the easiest to fill and do not cause a crisis.