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A relationship in which a person is controlled by another, who is constantly promoting pathological conditions, it refers to the one who wants to command over other submissive people

By: Merriam Webster Dictionary

Co-dependence movement in Arizona in the mid-’80s. Co-Dependents Anonymous had its first meeting in October of 1986 and reading material on Co-dependence as a disease. These Co-dependence books were the next generation evolved from the books on the Adult Child Syndrome of the early ’80s.

In Clark & Stoffel’s 1992, research article entitled: “Assessment of Co-dependency Behavior in Two Health Student Groups”, they described: “A painful dependence which includes: compulsive behaviors, forceful approvals, destruction of self-worth and identity”.

An extreme control on others personal life, taking charge of others wellbeing will shatter the individuality of one person, it lowers the self-esteem, self-concept, and increases external locus of control. Codependent behaviors are self-destructive.

Decide what you are selfish or selfless

Do not get lost in the age of Me, Me, Me

Live—Lead–Love

According to Melody Beattie’s book Codependent No More (1986):

Codependency harms a person in many ways: disturbance of moods, emotions, feelings, thoughts, behaviors, it is a paradoxical dependency.

Scott Welzelt from Albert Einstein College of Medicine said that: “Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy bonding, where one person doesn’t have self-efficacy or autonomy”.                                                                                                                

4 Keys:

  • Develop functional hobbies
  • Distance yourself
  • Spend a peaceful time
  • Expand the circle of support system.

Codependence /Codependency = A Spiritual disease

Factors leading to Co-dependency:

  • Lack of love and nurture
  • Rejection
  • Family addiction
  • Physical, emotional and sexual abuse Mental or physical illness.

Recovery suggestions for Co-dependency:

  • Stop living like a victim
  • Trust yourself
  • Feel your feelings
  • Be compassionate yourself
  • Be tormenting
  • Stop self-doubt
  • Stop reacting
  • Detach emotionally
  • Become self-responsible
  • Prioritize needs and wants
  • Exercise rights and choice
  • Face reality
  • Stop other dependence
  • Set boundaries
  • Practice communication
  • Depend on yourself
  • Depend on your
  • God Live your life in recovery.

Characteristics of Co-dependency:

  • Disconnected self
  • Denial
  • Obsession
  • Repression
  • Caretaking
  • Controlling
  • Lack of trust
  • Angry
  • Dependent
  • Relationship problems
  • Weak boundaries
  • Sex problems
  • Poor communication

Co-dependents beliefs:

  • I am not enough
  • Not loveable
  • Do not feel
  • Don’t self-care
  • I feel not enjoy
  • I am to blame

Co-dependency recovery principles:

  • Behave differently
  • Take self-responsibility
  • Accept your co-dependency

Co-dependent roles:

  • Scapegoat
  • Torment

When a person attempts to control some else’s life, it only reflects the lack of control they have on their own

By: Daniel Chidiac

 Co-dependency è letting go of unhealthy relationships

 Criteria of Co-dependents:

  • Absence of self-relation
  • Dependency on others
  • Compulsive helping
  • People pleasing

Co-dependency stands for:

  • C = caring for
  • O = others before yourself
  • D = doesn’t give you strength
  • E = even though you may feel
  • P = powerful in order to be
  • E = empowered you must step back
  • N = nonchalantly allow yourself to
  • D = delve into your wellbeing
  • E = eventually feelings of peace will
  • N = naturally surround you
  • C = covering like a blanket for
  • Y = you and those you love.

Tough love is the antidote for co-dependence

Co-dependent Relationships and Toxic Love:

  1. Love:
  2. Development of self, the first priority
  3. Give opportunities for self and others to grow.
  4. Encouragement for each other’s progressive plans.
  5. Ready to adjust and negotiate, problem-solving together.
  6. Enhance each other’s individuality.
  7. Dealing your relation with full command over it and try to cope in most of the situations.
  8. Enjoy your own company
  9. The cycle of comfort.
  10. Toxic love:
  11. Insecurity leading to loneliness
  12. Excessive involvement
  13. Limited social life
  14. Fear from approval
  15. Jealousy, possessiveness, fear of competition
  16. Control over things, blaming, passive or aggressive manipulation
  17. Trying to change others under the influence of rigid behavior
  18. The relationship is not trustworthy
  19. Expectation; that one partner will handle everything and another one will not take part in it
  20. Fusion (being obsessed with each other’s problems and feelings)
  21. Unable to endure separation
  22. The cycle of pain and despair.

Love is not supposed to be teasing. There is nothing wrong in maintaining a relationship that will last forever but expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctional.

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